You scroll through their Instagram feed, reply to their tweets, watch their TikTok videos and defend them no matter what they do … Are you simply a fan or something a little more?
Parasocial relationships are one-sided bonds people develop with public and media figures such as actors, musicians, influencers or politicians, although the term can also be applied to peers. Unlike developing a crush, those indulging in parasocial relationships feel they are friends with the person – that they know them and know what they’re thinking and feeling.
For Mulaney, whose white, middle-class, male-skewing supporters see him as a comedy visionary and relatable everyman, the very fact their hero was being criticised for the speed of his new romance was tantamount to blasphemy.
“People usually get into a parasocial relationship by falling in love with celebrities, famous people, influencers or even fictional characters,” says Helen Najar, hypnotherapist and well-being counsellor at Miracles wellness centre in Dubai. “They create unrealistic ideas about a person and feel as if they are part of their life. They can also be physically attracted to them and feel emotionally attached, so begin to give the other party much interest, time, and emotional energy.
“This is commonly seen with fans of celebrities, as they truly believe they know the person rather than understanding that they only know the character being presented by the person.”
What is a parasocial relationship?
Parasocial relationships have been around for as long as humans but under different names and guises. Behaviours that previous generations would have termed as ardent admiration for someone, or even a long-distance crush, would almost certainly these days be deemed parasocial.
The term was first coined by sociologists Donald Horton and R Richard Wohl in their 1956 paper Mass Communication and Para-Social Interaction, in which they said: “The crucial difference in experience obviously lies in the effective lack of reciprocity … The interaction, characteristically, is one-sided, non-dialectical and controlled by the performer.”
In short: you can like a particular celebrity all you want, but they’re not going to like you back.
Najar says: “This form of ‘relationship’ can give the individual a sense of belonging and that they are part of a group who shares their emotional connection of love and admiration with the said celebrity [character], which in a way normalises the relationship.”
The tipping point into obsession
Despite living in times of peak oversharing online, most people understand the parameters of their parasocial relationships. They know that Justin Bieber isn’t going to leave Hailey for them because they slid into his DMs, nor will Sonam Kapoor Ahuja invite them round for coffee because they admired her living room decor on Instagram.
“As with all things, good and bad co-exist and this can be seen when parasocial relationships tip into obsession, and this obsession or idealization of a character can affect both adults and children,” says Najar. “In children, this can become dangerous if the child idolizes a character and aspires to be like them, for example a certain character or celebrity’s body type.
Enjoying a healthy parasocial relationship: ‘They help people feel more connected.’
Hypnotherapist Helen Najar and psychologist Mina Shafik say the unprecedented levels of access into celebrities’ lives that modern technology has given followers has blurred the lines between what fans know about a public person and what they think they know. Photos: Miracles Dubai; Thrive Wellbeing Centre
The spotlight being shone on parasocial relationships also coincides with the pandemic, which caused people to be confined to their homes, and media and content consumption go through the roof. Similarly stuck in their mansions, celebrities started offering even more insights into their lives, including their homes, pets, meals and daily schedules. All of which made a desire on the part of the fan to “know more” seem less intrusive.
“The expansion of social media means people have unlimited access to a variety of platforms, entertainment sites and celebrities,” says Najar, “making the ability to feel connected to these celebrities otherwise private lives more attainable and socially acceptable.”
…and skincare got spiritual
If 2020 had any silver lining, it’s that I collectively switched off of auto-pilot mode and became more in-tuned with our mind and spirit. I know it’s not just me because the number of self-care, self-love, and self-empowerment posts on Instagram these days seems to be at an all-time high.
When I heard about the Access Energetic Facelift, I had to give it a try. It’s getting rave reviews as the new treatment of choice for the mind, body, and soul in Bollywood *and* I, of course, get heart eyes for anything that contains the word “facelift”. I took a Careem down to Miracles Wellness Center and met with Jane Elizabeth, who is a transformational coach and energy healer. Jane explained that this treatment removes mental and emotional blockages, erases negative memory within our cells, rejuvenates the face, and restores our natural glow. Sounds amazing, amirite?
I kicked off my shoes, snuggled up with a warm blanket on the bed, and proceeded to be transformed. Jane used a combination of a reiki-style of hand movements and pressure point massage techniques to release my negative energy. She picked up on a lingering fear of uncertainty and fear of success and transmuted them from my psyche. #thanksjane
Access Energetic Facial costs Dhs500 for a 1-hour session at Miracles Wellness Center, Icon Tower, Barsha Heights.
Practical tips on helping cure your child of maths anxiety.
Of all the legacies you deign to give your child perhaps the most common – and least wanted – is a fear of mathematics.
As per an article published in ‘Harvard Business Review’, 93 % of Americans report experiencing some level of maths anxiety. As per a Programme for International Student Assessment in 2012, across the 34 participating Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) countries, 59 % of the 15- to 16-year-old students said they worry about the perceived difficulty of maths classes while 33 % said number-crunching homework stressed them out and 31 % admitted to feeling nervous when confronted by a maths problem.
Hiba Mehanna, Wellness Consultant and General Manager of Miracles Dubai, explains that the insecurities children face around maths can stem anywhere from societal and family pressures to perform well, to not being able to meet the set standards that peers can reach which can result in being teased by other kids in the school environment. “Children that have received poor maths grades in the past can develop an insecurity towards the subject due to a fear of repeated results, and this insecurity can create an inaccurate belief that they are simply ‘not good at maths’.”
Benjamin Atkins, Head of Secondary at The Aquila School, also says maths makes for an easy target. “People find it acceptable to publicly acknowledge that ‘I was not good at maths at school’ and ‘I don’t like maths’, but would never openly say the same about reading or other subjects. This gives many pupils a false view of what mathematics in secondary school could be like before they even attend their first class,” he explains.
How does anxiety work in kids?
Anxiety around a subject is a learned behaviour. Mehanna explains that in a child’s brain at a neuroscientific level, one can see that neural pathways are at their peak in forming strong connections. “These connections, if continuously used form a neural pattern that results in a future set behaviour. A perfect example is a child who goes to school and has a negative experience in the classroom, if this is a one-time event, the child will feel the negative emotion (shame, embarrassment, etc.). However, it will not form a strong neural pathway and over time it will begin to dissipate. However, if the same child is consistently facing a negative emotion when they are in the classroom, this will create a strong neural pathway that will result in anxiety whenever they’re put in a classroom setting as a child and even into adulthood.
The physical impact
“Although anxiety shows up in children due to repeated neural connections, it can also manifest physically as a sore tummy, headache, fatigue and lack of motivation. These manifestations of anxiety can also be a result of what is known as the gut-brain axis, simply put; your food creates your mood. Children displaying anxiety may bite their nails, fidget, have fluctuating emotions and have a hard time trying to concentrate. Further to this, they may not want to participate in social events, have a change of eating habits and suffer from disrupted sleep.”
Now for the good news. This isn’t a permanent state of affairs. You can subtract the worry from the situation by simply adding in a few elements such as a more conducive learning environment. “The good news is, in terms of maths insecurity and belief of self, it is possible to be reversed depending on the teaching method. This is evident by some children performing better in maths when they feel more connected to the teacher and the learning style of the school. It is important that a child who displays an insecurity in math be nurtured and understood in their way of learning, because when this is lacking it can result in an insecurity in how they process learning.”
A different intelligence
This is exactly what Paramjith Singh found out. The Indian expat’s ten-year-old son was so afraid of numbers that he would run off every time he’d see one. Fortunately, his school counselor spoke to him and realised the problem wasn’t maths, it was an aversion to two-dimensional numbers – he could not understand what they meant. A visualisation technique, where cups and bowls, oranges and apples were used to help the child physically see the difference in digits allowed him to learn them; today, he likes the subject, says Singh.
When it comes to teaching visualisation techniques, every activity can become a learning experience. “Other techniques at home could be to add mathematics into everyday activities – but especially cooking. Involving the child in a practical activity that focuses on weights and measure, but that can also look at ratio, is a great way to build family relationships and improve mathematics skills. Ask: ‘if we need 100g of flour for three people, how much do we need for six?’,” suggests Atkins.
Hareem Navaid, who teaches math and business at Dwight School Dubai, says it’s imperative to acknowledge the problem and then employ a few tried-and-tested strategies to overcome it.
“I teach my students stress management techniques. We do mindfulness exercises such as deep breathing, and meditation during mathematics lesson. These techniques help students to relax during any stressful situation,” he adds.
“The teacher should also make efforts in providing students the autonomy, competency and purpose for each learning objective to keep them motivated and engaged in learning,” he says.
In classrooms, one must also teach test-taking strategies, says Navaid. “Encourage them to solve the easiest questions first. To tackle the hard math word problem, students can draw the word problem to visualise the scenario.
“Encourage them to proactively break down large tasks into smaller more achievable and less stressful small tasks,” he adds.
And you can teach them tricks that will not only make the subject fun but easier to understand. Navaid offers the following hacks:
Multiplying with 99:Subtract 1 from the first double digit number. Then subtract that answer from 99. Then write both answers together. It will be the product of multiplying any doubt digit number with 99.
START THEM YOUNG
Here are some simple (and fun!) ways to start thinking and talking about maths skills with your little one.
Point to shapes
Talk with your child about the shapes you see around you. Maybe on your walk together you notice a round stone or a square sign. “Look, the door on that house is a red rectangle!” Introducing these basic spatial sense skills – the concepts of shape, size, space and direction – will help your child later on in school when they start geometry.
Count it out
Find some small objects – such as shells or beads – to count together out loud. “Look! We have one, two, three, four, five orange beads.” You can also separate them into groups. “Let’s make three piles of three buttons.” This is a great way to introduce the concepts of numbers and operations (addition, subtraction, multiplication and division). You don’t only need objects to learn how to count – you could also work on counting with your little one by counting out loud how many steps they take or how many times they clap their hands.
Play a sorting game
Recognising patterns and relationships lays the foundation for learning equations later in life. To introduce these concepts to your toddler in a playful way, try playing a sorting game with objects around your house. “Let’s put the red lentils in one basket and the green lentils in the other basket.” You can also lay the objects out in a pattern. “Let’s make a row of lentils: red, green, red, green.”
Have fun in the kitchen
Cooking together is a great opportunity for your child to explore measurement and counting. Make sure to give them age-appropriate tasks and to supervise them closely while you create your culinary masterpiece! Talk about how much rice you need for your meal and show them how you measure it out. If you’re making a snack, count out the food items on your plate: “There are one, two, three, four berries in our snack.”
Build a tower
Stacking objects helps young children to learn about estimating size and understanding the relationship between different sized objects. To make a tower together, you could use blocks, empty boxes, empty cartons or other child-safe objects you have around the house that will stack well. Talk about how the pieces fit on top of one another and if the tower falls, why that happened. See how high you can go!
Compare and contrast
Take notice of the sizes of objects you see in comparison to one another. A market or food store are great places to do this together. “This mango is much bigger than that one.” You can also ask your child to point out which item they think is smaller or larger. This helps your toddler to work on building those important spatial sense and measurement skills.
Source: Unicef Parenting
Parents play a vital role in curing – or infecting – kids with math anxiety. Here are some ways you can help says Navaid.
• Check your attitude: Parents’ own attitude towards the mathematics also impact the children’s approach towards mathematics. Parents should not communicate any negative feelings about mathematics to their children.
• Do your prep work: Encourage time management and organisational skills. Help them to plan and prepare for test in advance.
• One report card grade doesn’t define a child. Your children are more than a grade on a report card. Praise and appreciate the effort, not only the final grade on the report card. Communicate it to your children also. One test won’t make or break the rest of her/his academic life or career.
• Remind your children about their strengths. Build their confidence by affirmations that “you can prepare for it”, “you can do this” or saying, “let’s do it together”. It brings the parents much closer to children and help improve parent child relationship which will help with anxiety as well.
• Tell them, it is easy to improve mathematical skills. Give your children confidence that he/she can improve her math ability by practicing.
• Encourage children to write down emotions. Studies have shown that writing down negative emotions reduces the severity of those emotions.
• Encourage a healthy lifestyle. “Structured bed times allow for enough time for the brain to rest, nurtured learning environments to avoid negative feelings that can result in fixed neural connections, and a healthy diet to feed the gut the vitamins and minerals essential to nourish the brain and its electrical output which we understand as emotions. In doing so not only can you reduce the level of anxiety displayed in a child but, you can also help them to build healthier fixed neural connections that will benefit them all the way into adulthood,” adds Mehanna.
I love to recommend this ancient tool to all my clients. It doesn’t take a healer or a yogi to know how good it feels to walk barefoot on grass or on the beach, feeling the warmth of the sun touching your skin. In these moments, you are ‘grounded’. Grounding is an ancient activity that spreads through various cultures, traditions and spiritual practices over hundreds of years. It is simply reconnecting our energies with the Earth. For the majority of history, we have had direct contact with the earth’s surface, but somewhere along the way, we have lost that sustained connection due to the modern world of technology, high rise buildings, and even shoes with insulated synthetic soles. And a constant influx of
electromagnetic radiation (EMF) from our devices takes us further away.
Grounding isn’t a new discovery, but a rediscovery of what our ancestors knew would help them to heal. And it is still accessible to us. When we allow our body to connect with the Earth, we enhance our mental, physical, and emotional wellbeing and create a more sound, clear way of thinking. Vitality, health, and wellness are benefits of allowing yourself to be grounded with the Earth. It’s a great exercise, and best of all it’s free!
- Calms nervous system
- Protects from electromagnetic fields (EMFs)
- Eases chronic pain and inflammation
- Balances emotions, reduces stress and anxiety, boosts energy
- Improves mental clarity and ability to make decisions
How to do Grounding:
- Take off your shoes and walk on grass
- Lie your entire body down in the grass—touching as much of your bare skin to the
ground as possible
- Go to the beach and walk in the sand barefoot – Salt (water) is very grounding and the waves have a very strong cleansing and replenishing energy.
- The next time you’re trekking along a cobblestone street, remember that the uneven terrain is actually a boon to your fitness. The uneven surfaces of stone paths are commonly used for wellness as “reflexology paths,” although you can get the same beneficial effects from any uneven stone pathway.
- Put your feet in a freshwater stream and turn your face towards the sun.
- Enjoy gardening, feeling the soil on your hands.
- Breathe in deeply when you are in nature, and follow your breath as it travels into your nostrils and lungs and back out.
- Spend at least 15-minutes in direct physical contact with nature, sit with your back against a tree.
- Have a salt bath, a mixture of sea salts, Epsom salts and Himalayan salts are a great combo. Add essential oils such as patchouli (be sure to dilute them with a carrier oil first). You can also add grounding crystals to your bath and fresh herbs instead of essential oils such as sage.
Join Delna to learn the practice of grounding.
The world has spent more time than ever at home in these past two years, and there isn’t a more important time to do space clearing, to keep your home energy flowing, clean and fresh.
The practice of space clearing has its roots in many ancient cultures such as Middle Eastern, African, Native American and Asian. Native Americans used herbs like sage and cedar to smudge their spaces, as they believed that the smoke from these herbs pulls in the negative
energies. These energies then dissipate with the smoke, leaving the space clean and clear to welcome good energies amongst them.
Salt has been used in Middle Eastern and Asian cultures to cleanse space. In Northern Indian and Tibetan tradition, Himalayan Salt is often mixed with the queen of spices – saffron to ward away evil and negative entities. In Peru, the sacred Despacho ceremony is performed to restore peaceful energies between people, nature and other spirits. Other cultures use prayer, chants or mantras, or apply the principles of Feng Shui, Vaastu to ensure a deep clearing of any negative energies or blocks to success. Whichever method is used across the
world and through centuries, it is commonly believed that clearing your space of pre- existing energy and filling them with new, positive energy is necessary for a life of ease and joy.
So while the practice is age-old, the reason is relevant even today: just as we see dust and clutter accumulating in our homes on a physical level, the same happens on an energetic level too. It’s just that we cannot always see it energetically. The phrase ‘you can cut the tension in the air with a knife probably comes from where the energy is so intense, that one can sense it. These intense energies create a build-up and
blockage. Arguments, grief, illnesses all add to a negative energetic build-up and our home spirals into a lower vibration, as the ‘flow’ of energy is blocked. Just as we need to clean our homes, redecorate, clear garbage, the same is true energetically.
What is Space Clearing:
Space clearing is basically the ritual of clearing the space of your home, on an energetic level. I use a crystal pendulum and specific charts to identify the heavy energies in your home. I help to identify the location of the abundance, power, health and heart spots in your home and clear any blockages. The energetic clearing brings a light and airy flow back into your space. You may have noticed that the more time you spend at home, the more housework you need to do to keep it looking and feeling fresh. Similarly, any energetic or emotional build-up too requires clearing.
To put it simply, unless you space clear regularly, you will be living amongst unwanted frequencies of your past. The imprint of all those arguments, feelings of anxiety, stress, grief… are held in those walls of your home, making it harder to recover completely. Of course, it is equally important to remove physical clutter, as they represent layers of stagnant energy in your home. Space clearing brings in new, higher frequencies that help you to move forward.
And that is why space clearing has become so important, especially in the intense times that we are living in right now. It is recommended that a space clearing session should be done at your home at least once a year. And even more often if a family member has experienced a troubled situation, illness, loss etc. Even if you have just moved into a new house, it is important to clear the residual energies of the previous occupant.
If the energies in your house are particularly intense, don’t hesitate to call a trusted professional space clearing expert to help.
I am a space clearing healer. Using a crystal pendulum, charts and Tibetan Singing Bowls, I energetically clears space, even remotely (without the sound bowls in this case). With the help of a pendulum, I am able to detect the imbalances in the various areas of your home and clear them, thus allowing the energies to align, restoring a sense of balance, peace, harmony, abundance, good health, love, laughter and prosperity.
Join Delna for professional space clearing
Has this ever happened to you that you’ve felt this huge hunch that something is about to happen, and then it actually does? Or sometimes you think of calling someone, and then that person calls you? So when you feel strongly about something without any solid logical to it, that’s called intuition.
It comes in three impressions
- Clairvoyance or “the third eye” , sensing clearly and feeling through listening. Clairvoyance is when your eye goes beyond what it can see. This is when you know what is happening somewhere. Sensing clearly is basically what we refer to as “hunch” or “gut feel” This is the time when you are overwhelmed with a feeling and you can’t explain it and all you can say is “I just know”.
- Clairaudience is feeling through listening, and being able to “listen” between the lines. Intuition also happens at times when a certain sound, whatever it is – be it a car’s honk or a bird’s twitting – ushers in an intense feeling.
- Clairsentient is commonly defined as a “clear feeling”, the ability to feel the past, the present, and the future emotional state of other people, even without using any of the five senses- sight, smell, hearing, tasting, or touching. It is also referred to as the sense of intuition because people who also have clairsentient abilities can gather information from non-living materials such as buildings or outside areas also without the use of the five senses.
It has been said that only a few people are truly gifted with intuition. In the past, people with intuitive abilities were labelled as witches and sorcerers and weren’t trusted. But in today’s times, more and more people are aware of the gift of intuitiveness and studies have proclaim that anyone can develop intuition. And especially in these troubled times, where people are dealing with so much stress and anxiety, being able to tap into your intuition is a gift.
Intuition promotes good communication. It makes you more sensitive to the people around you; it often keeps you from hurting those you love because you are intuitive enough to understand them. Intuition also makes you far more creative than ever. Intuition means releasing more creative juices for any means of expression. Lastly, intuition has a healing power. This healing power is not in the physical sense, but in delving deep into your soul to eradicate some negative energy buried in it.
With that being said, are you ready to develop your intuition? Here are some ways to unlock this gift:
For those who don’t know, a session of hypnotherapy is not like what you’d see in films. It is in fact a deeply meditative process. We work with that level of mind which you have when you are about to fall asleep or waking up. You can hear people in the background, but are still too rested to move your body or talk back.
Meditating means finding peace in yourself. If your mind and heart are cluttered with too many baggage and hurt, you wouldn’t be able to quiet down that part of you that could eventually initiate intuition. There are so many ways to meditate: take a yoga class, or just simply practice some breathing that could bring you straight to Zen.
3. Use your thoughts to create a better outcome.
A worry-free, fear-free state could do so much to improve your intuitive ability. By using your imagination to stay positive, you attract a high vibration which is the best frequency to manifest your desired outcomes.
Simply put – if you are on the brink of making a huge decision, let go of all the mental chitter chatter and head to a quiet place. Sometimes you just have to quieten down and listen to the voice within you.
5. Never expect.
After quietening down, just release all expectations for an immediate solution. Anxiety puts you
back in a low vibration, so give it time, and trust that you will be given a sign.
6. Trust your first impressions.
Sometimes you enter a room and feel heavy, or you meet a person and do not get a very positive vibe, trust that feeling. Chances are that impression actually holds true. Most of the time, first impressions are brought by intuition. Play around with this, test it out with smaller situations in life and build your intuitive muscle.
7. Stay happy!
It always boils down to this – all you need to be intuitive is to stay happy! Happiness attracts immense power and such power includes intuition. Of course, don’t mask your feeling of grief or fear. You must feel to heal. Acknowledge your feelings, and continuously move to a higher vibration.
Intuition is helpful, because sometimes it leads you to something that cannot be achieved otherwise. Decisions that you can’t make using logic or people you should avoid, situations you can skip – all this becomes second nature when you develop your intuitive abilities.
Start working on it and enjoy the journey!
Join Delna for a meditation or hypnotherapy class.
In an age of speed, multi-tasking 24/7, eating fast, working more, sleeping less, and being constantly connected, there is nothing more seductive than slowing down. As an energy healer and coach, the most important tip I’d give my clients is to do all that it takes to preserve their peace of mind. And here are some tips on finding a small private oasis of calm, even in the midst of an emotional storm.
- Start with the most basic form of meditation: Breathe!
You don’t need prior training or experience, all you need to do is simply sit down and observe your breath. This is the first step to building a meditation practice. Become aware of your belly rising as you inhale and contracting on exhale. This is called abdominal breathing or yogic breathing. Notice how it feels to simply observe your breath. Notice the sensations, and notice the thoughts in your head as you do this. You can repeat this 5-6 times to begin with. If you like, you could add some words along with the breath, such as breathing in you can say “I inhale peace” and on exhaling: “I let go everything that doesn’t serve me.” You can also use a single word,
like “peace” or “relax” for both inhale and exhale.
- Stretch your body
There is a wide choice of online and onsite yoga classes, so choose a class or a YouTube depending on whether you prefer a group or the comfort of your own home. Even a few minutes stretching your arms and legs, or twisting your spine for that delicious side stretch will do you good. Lie down on your back, spread your arms at shoulder level, put your knees up and feet on the floor as close to your body as possible, and then drop your knees to one side. Stay there for a few moments and then repeat on the other. The internet is filled with simple yoga stretches. Go at your pace and find what feels good.
- Make the floor your friend
There’s an emerging wellness trend that’s worth checking out, a practice that requires neither aspiration nor great motivation: lying on the ground. Okay, so the floor may not be the first place your mind goes when you think of relaxation. But when you lie down on the floor, its firm, flat surface reflects the state of your posture. When you lie on the floor, it helps you experience inconsistencies, imbalances and tightness in the musculoskeletal system. It gives you a better sense of what hurts and what doesn’t, and as you gradually adapt to the floor’s firm surface to find a comfortable, effortless position, you can release some of the tensions that are hard to detect when standing or seated. Even when you walk on the floor bare foot, you can sense the ground better. Do it slowly and attentively, focus on how your feet contact the floor, and you will feel more grounded. This practiced sensation of grounding not only promotes dynamic posture and balance as you age, but also has a calming effect. If you want to relieve a lower back ache, stand with your feet together, body in one line, butt tucked in, tummy in, chin chest and shoulders relaxed. Now lift the two big toes off the ground and feel the sensation in your body and how the stress lifts off the back.
- Beauty Sleep Just as important as having a morning routine, is having a sleep routine. Like we’d do for a baby, create the perfect ambience for your own bedtime. Escort your gadgets out of the bedroom, use bedsheets that feel good, colors and fabrics that you love. A warm shower, light music and a cup of chamomile tea goes a long way in prepping you for a relaxed night.
- Find completion in the incomplete There are some things that are best dropped incomplete. Shocked? Wait, hear me out. There will always be items on the bucket list bring you more anxiety than motivation, these are those things that you have been putting off unnecessarily. “I want to learn Spanish” “I want to sky dive” etc., and for some reason they just stay on your list and never seem to get checked. Identify these, and gracefully bid them farewell. Or find a better way to make it happen. Don’t overcrowd your plate. Be ambitious but beware of burn out. You are the best judge and your only trusted Guru. Look for the guidance within and do all it takes to live happily.
I wish you a day filled with Miracles.
Click here for more information about the facilitator Delna
Hypnosis refers to the process where a trained professional assists a willing person to achieve a deeper level of focus to address and transform a certain issue of concern. This process is scientifically proven and highly effective to help create desired and agreed upon changes in thoughts, feelings, and behaviors to achieve long-lasting mental, emotional and physical well-being. Change happens at all levels: conscious and more importantly subconscious and cellular levels.
Mental, emotional, and physical change is possible without prescription drugs or life-long visits to your therapist. I have assisted many people to heal the cause of their stress and distress…IBS, migraines, emotional eating, addictions, anxiety and panic attacks, self-sabotage, smoking to name a few.
When a person begins his process of transformation, no matter how much of a challenge the task seems to be, the unhealthy or limiting state can be released in a much smoother and easier way with hypnotherapy. The possibilities are limitless.
Click here for more information about the facilitator Mirna Iwaza.
We live in a world where we believe we need to be right, correct, and perfect. We have this idea of how we want to be perceived by people and this gives us a sense of security. When we face situations that don’t align with that idea in our head, we tend to become angry, triggered, upset, we feel like we are losing control of the situation and start behaving in ways that are quite the opposite (without even realizing).
It’s like a switch flips within us and we start imposing our beliefs and thoughts to regain control. When this doesn’t work, things escalate, and we feel a sense of hurt and defeat as we get locked in that vicious cycle.
Let’s take a step back. Take a deep breath and look at what is really going on here.
The first question to ask is why do I need to be so perfect? What am I insecure about? What is this ‘trigger’? Is it even possible to be perfect or is it something we are conditioned to believe so we are loved and accepted?
Most of these triggers come from our childhood, where we were told to behave or excel and then we were loved and praised (i.e. false sense of security). Anything opposite that your mind reads as unloved and criticized (i.e. false sense of insecurity).
The root cause is deep feelings of insecurity and then a loss of control. It’s time to heal that inner child in you. It’s time to love him/her and give that child in you the understanding, patience and tolerance he/she requires. It’s alright, you are always doing the best you can. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being human and being human means experiencing everything and not identifying it as who you are.
Of Course, you are loved! Of Course, you matter! and of course, you are fully capable of having all that you desire, because that’s who you are. Anything else is not you. It’s just how you see yourself and maybe now is the time to change that.
- Taking a step back and looking at the whole picture brings back a sense of control, if I lack understanding I lose my patience and in turn have no tolerance. I end up getting upset and act at an impulse, the repercussion of which are clearly not healthy in the long run.
- Why am I scared of being judged?
- Why do I get so aggressive & provoked? – loss of control
- Why am I trying to please people?
- PUT (Patience, Understanding & Tolerance) perspectives for a happy life
By: Rashmi Seth
What are your thoughts before you sleep at night? What are your first thoughts when you wake up in the morning? And what are your thoughts throughout the day?
Is a bill due?
I forgot to call someone!
I need to clear out my cupboards, I can never find anything to wear.
What do I do for dinner?
The kids need to finish their project for school
Do I really want kids?
I was meant to call the dry cleaners
I really don’t want to deal with this client
I just want everyone to be happy
Our thoughts are as endless as our to-do list. We just can’t stop, and if we do, we think there’s something wrong.
When our thoughts keep going and the emotions keep spiking and dropping, over time we start to feel stressed and eventually anxious in our very way of being.
The more stressed and anxious we feel the more we feel the need to be in control and the more we need to be in control the more it stresses us out. It’s a vicious cycle.
We find various coping methods like yoga, breathing exercises, working out, etc. but before you know it, we become so reliant on them for our peace of mind that if we ever stop, we start stressing about that too!
We have got to reach a place within us where we do not allow our mind and our thoughts to overcome us. Observe the thoughts, the chatter, the emotions it brings with it. Observe it and watch in all its totality. There is nothing to fight or resist. Whatever exists is welcome in your space. And you will find that this practice of mere observation is what enables it to dissipate. It disappears on its own. It disappears because you are not fighting. You are simply holding space for all that exists. Space, thought and emotions exist together, equally.
This is where the magic happens. This is where transformation is possible.
Click here for more information about the facilitator Amrit Chand Schmidt