Are you in a parasocial relationship? Why we obsess over celebrities?

You scroll through their Instagram feed, reply to their tweets, watch their TikTok videos and defend them no matter what they do … Are you simply a fan or something a little more?

 

Parasocial relationships are one-sided bonds people develop with public and media figures such as actors, musicians, influencers or politicians, although the term can also be applied to peers. Unlike developing a crush, those indulging in parasocial relationships feel they are friends with the person – that they know them and know what they’re thinking and feeling.

For Mulaney, whose white, middle-class, male-skewing supporters see him as a comedy visionary and relatable everyman, the very fact their hero was being criticised for the speed of his new romance was tantamount to blasphemy. 

“People usually get into a parasocial relationship by falling in love with celebrities, famous people, influencers or even fictional characters,” says Helen Najar, hypnotherapist and well-being counsellor at Miracles wellness centre in Dubai. “They create unrealistic ideas about a person and feel as if they are part of their life. They can also be physically attracted to them and feel emotionally attached, so begin to give the other party much interest, time, and emotional energy.

 “This is commonly seen with fans of celebrities, as they truly believe they know the person rather than understanding that they only know the character being presented by the person.”

What is a parasocial relationship?

Parasocial relationships have been around for as long as humans but under different names and guises. Behaviours that previous generations would have termed as ardent admiration for someone, or even a long-distance crush, would almost certainly these days be deemed parasocial.

The term was first coined by sociologists Donald Horton and R Richard Wohl in their 1956 paper Mass Communication and Para-Social Interaction, in which they said: “The crucial difference in experience obviously lies in the effective lack of reciprocity … The interaction, characteristically, is one-sided, non-dialectical and controlled by the performer.”

In short: you can like a particular celebrity all you want, but they’re not going to like you back.

Najar says: “This form of ‘relationship’ can give the individual a sense of belonging and that they are part of a group who shares their emotional connection of love and admiration with the said celebrity [character], which in a way normalises the relationship.”

The tipping point into obsession

Despite living in times of peak oversharing online, most people understand the parameters of their parasocial relationships. They know that Justin Bieber isn’t going to leave Hailey for them because they slid into his DMs, nor will Sonam Kapoor Ahuja invite them round for coffee because they admired her living room decor on Instagram.

“As with all things, good and bad co-exist and this can be seen when parasocial relationships tip into obsession, and this obsession or idealization of a character can affect both adults and children,” says Najar. “In children, this can become dangerous if the child idolizes a character and aspires to be like them, for example a certain character or celebrity’s body type.

Enjoying a healthy parasocial relationship: ‘They help people feel more connected.’

Hypnotherapist Helen Najar and psychologist Mina Shafik say the unprecedented levels of access into celebrities’ lives that modern technology has given followers has blurred the lines between what fans know about a public person and what they think they know. Photos: Miracles Dubai; Thrive Wellbeing Centre

The spotlight being shone on parasocial relationships also coincides with the pandemic, which caused people to be confined to their homes, and media and content consumption go through the roof. Similarly stuck in their mansions, celebrities started offering even more insights into their lives, including their homes, pets, meals and daily schedules. All of which made a desire on the part of the fan to “know more” seem less intrusive.

“The expansion of social media means people have unlimited access to a variety of platforms, entertainment sites and celebrities,” says Najar, “making the ability to feel connected to these celebrities otherwise private lives more attainable and socially acceptable.”

Time management

Time management refers to managing time effectively so that right time is allocated to the right activity. Managing your time well can lead to feelings of effectiveness and accomplishment, but you have to be consistent. Developing a method for managing your time and adjusting it regularly to meet your changing needs allows you to accomplish more at work and at home.

Scheduling time for work, relaxation and sleep may also contribute to improved health. Poorly managed time, on the other hand, can lead to feelings of frustration and stress affecting our overall wellness.
In the corporate world , employees must learn to manage their time effectively in order to achieve targets ahead of deadline and make a mark of their own. One who understands the value of time and plans well never feels overburdened and enjoys each task assigned.

Let’s go through some effective time management techniques;

• Set your priorities : make a “ Task plan” list and jot down all the urgent tasks that needs to be completed against the time slot assigned to each task. High priority tasks must be mentioned on the top followed by tasks which can be done a little later. Most importantly , make sure you stick to your task list.
• Understand the difference between urgent and important task: work management and time management go hand in hand. Break down your day into morning, afternoon and evening segment and assign each segment with tasks based on their priority and deadline .
• Plan ahead : Make it your habit to always make a plan way ahead of time too better organise and Excel in each task assigned . This will not only help you in finishing your work on time but also will help you in feeling less burdened.
• Set Realistic goals : Set achievable targets and goals for yourself

Time management is much more important than we think and plays a vital role in maintaining a good mental health.

Time Management and Stress
How you manage our time can either cause or alleviate stress. Interestingly, stress can be interpreted as positive or negative, depending on its intensity and frequency. Productive or positive stress, known as eustress, is a controlled amount of stress that produces a steady state of alertness that can help you focus, but without all the negative side effects of distress.

Too much negative stress can overwhelm you and in extreme cases, temporarily immobilize you making it feel impossible to accomplish your goals.

Stress causes the body to secrete adrenaline and cortisol, the stress hormone responsible for the “fight or flight” response. Just the right amount of adrenaline might help you to become more productive. However, high levels of stress for prolonged periods may have dangerous physical effects including high blood pressure, anxiety and heart disease. Chronic stress causes the body to slow digestion, raise heart rates and increase insulin levels in the blood.

Practicing yoga and meditation helps relieving stress and and clears our mind and strengthens our ability to focus. Many Companies incorporate onsite wellness programs to relieve stress of their  employees.

 

Ancestral Colour Healing of the Family Tree with Colour PsychoDynamics

A journey to the past, present and future generations

All those who have gone before us play a part in making us who we are today. Deep in our mind and hearts we carry the collective story of our family’s history.

Ancestral Colour Healing can help you improve your:

• Health & Wellbeing
• Finances
• Relationships
• Success
• Happiness

This workshop is about reconnecting with the never-ending source of healing, love and support available to you. In the process of reconnection we provide healing for our ancestors who need help to let go of their life stories.

Letting colour be our guide we will begin the healing and liberating process from the unhelpful and unhealthy stories, hidden legacies, and invisible family loyalties, enabling a joy for living in the now, a hope for the future, and to live more fully the life YOU were born to live.  

When we honour and listen to the distant voices from the past, we create stronger roots, securer foundations and experience a joy of living in the present, together with the excitement and potential of creating a happier and more fulfilling future for ourselves and our descendants.

Somewhere back in time someone hoped and prayed for someone just like you. You are the one they have been waiting for; You are the answer to their prayers.

“Sometimes it falls upon a generation to be great.

You can be that generation”

Nelson Mandela

Mark Wentworth has been working with ancestral healing for many years, his work and training with Jungian Psychotherapist Dr Roger Woolger has been a great inspiration for developing ways of incorporating this ancient wisdom into his own colour healing work. Mark is the creator of Colour PsychoDynamics a life-enhancing method integrating colour therapy with the collective and visionary worlds of C.G.Jung, Shamanism and Transpersonal based healing. Mark pioneered workshops in the late 90’s uniting colour with expressive arts and psychodrama techniques, giving colour, for the first time, not only a voice but also story and action.

 

The Power Of Thoughts, The Power Of Theta Healing

We often find ourselves in life operating from a space of self-doubt and worst case scenarios, especially when we want to manifest our heart’s desires. Soon after discerning our dreams and visions that we have for ourselves, the next thought that often comes up is, “Will I be able to do it?”, “Do I have what I takes?” and “What will people say?” This doubting Thomas often stay with us much longer than the time we spent giving ourselves an opportunity to expand, think outside the box, envision our heart’s desire and set goals to manifest them.

Something not so different happened to me as I was going for a nature walk, awaiting for inspiration and my hearts calling to come to me like a gushing breeze that would hopefully change my life forever. While no such breeze came to sweep me away, I did feel my heart swell up as the thought of wanting to inspire and make a difference in people’s lives suddenly engulfed me. This sweet feeling of fulfilment filled me up for close to 30 seconds; the next thought took over me for the rest of the day. “Is it even possible?”, “How on earth are you going to do it?”, “You don’t have the skills to do it!”, “How will you look after yourself?” etc.

I gave way for these doubts to really see where they could take me and then I did something interesting. I took hold of one of them and starting ‘digging’. I was naturally and obviously scared of the possibility of fulfilling my heart’s desire and so the first question I asked myself “what’s the worst that can happen to you if you don’t succeed in helping others”. “I’m not good enough” was the first thought and feeling that popped out of nowhere. That moment, I felt an epiphany come hurling at from all directions. Not only did I carry these fears and beliefs of not being good enough within me but I also carried the answers of these fears with me! As I started digging deeper I found my initial fear to be lost in the pages of history and what was to come was all the more surprising and shocking. It was my feeling of separateness from the Creator that sprouted from my fear of failure. Not being good enough, lack of trust, faith, self-love, being alone and feeling unsupported ran much deeper than my developmental years and experiences to the germination of the feeling of not being connected, loved and supported by Creation.

This revelation changed my life forever for it changed my perspective to thoughts itself. I then went on a rather relentless search to find a technique by which I could transform these negative patterns into those that could be more empowering, loving, kind and empowering.

Theta Healing by Vianna Stibal literally came knocking on my door step as I was gifted this book by a dear friend who knew of my quest for self-healing and ever since then I have never looked back at my life as an impossibility, as a limitation that I can’t overcome by changing my perspective.

Theta healing is a training method for your mind, body and spirit that allows you to clear limiting beliefs and live life with positive thoughts, developing virtues in all that we do. Through meditation and prayer, the Theta Healing Technique creates a positive lifestyle by changing one’s limiting belief at the very core of our subconscious mind, transforming them to feel more connectedness and love with the Creator of all that is. If there is one energy method you learn, let it be this one![gravityform id=”2″ title=”true” description=”true”]

Five Reasons To Try Holistic Coaching

Our lives are made up of many factors and influencers which can be overwhelming at time. So many things to achieve and gain and still manage day to day life. Since we become so focused on the areas of life as separate aspects, trying to bring them together and look at them holistically can be a tough job.

Seeking balance across work with family, gym with yoga, food with health and friends with volunteering can happen, we just need the right tools.

The various facets of our lives, such as relationships, environments, people, health, lifestyle and family all impact the condition of who we are at any given time. These aspects can be broken down into the segments of life which we can then assess in terms of impact and importance.

When an imbalance occurs, for example, one area of your life is dominating everything else such as when you work all the time and neglect your health, then steps can be taken to correct those areas of imbalance to support the life you desire. Holistically coaching can help to provide the means to step back and view your life as the sum of parts.

The reasons to try holistic coaching are:

1. Having someone to bounce ideas off – objectively and with clarity

When you speak to someone who is 100% focused on working with you to achieve your life goals and wants to support you on the journey of the life you want, then coaching can be really helpful. You may share these ideas with friends or family but to get to where you want to go, an independent person can probe your further and make you ask yourself the big questions.

2. Strategies and techniques to support in achieving your goals

A holistic coach provides you with a suite of tools which can be used to arrange, plan and map the life you want to achieve. Tools can include a life plan, vision and action boards, weekly plans, vision and mission statements.

3. The personal trainer for the mind

A coach of any kind, takes the talents you have and want to pursue, so that you can become the better you. Your personal trainer will make you work-out, learn how to exercise correctly and support you in your weight-loss or body-building plan. The holistic coach does the same thing for the other areas of your life – life purpose, business life, creative life, social life, love life and makes you work to achieve the goals you want in these area.

4. Creating a dedicated, safe, trusting and open environment

A holistic coach creates an environment which is welcoming, safe, open and trusting. The information shared between client and coach is kept confidential and not shared. The client has the opportunity to be open and express their dreams, desires and aspirations in a non-judgemental and professional environment.

5. Help in overcoming the obstacles, low confidence and negative self-talk

You may know what you want and that you deserve it but your language, self-talk and low self-esteem may be stopping you. Holistic coaching allows you to identify these limiting beliefs and share ways to change the way you use words and think. You no longer say, “I am no good at public speaking” to “with each presentation I make, my public speaking skills improve”

Through holistic coaching, we work with you to assess the current state of your life and identify the areas of life you wish to focus upon. A proactive plan is then implemented to allow you to take the steps to achieve your plan. We provide you with tools required to support you in this process.

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream” C.S. Lewis

Request A Consultation

If you are interested in booking a coaching session with Philippe Mathijs, please fill out the form below:

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Yousef’s Success Story – Health Coaching with Nigora

A healthy lifestyle is key to good health and wellbeing. As simple as this may sound, a lot of us face challenges with maintaining good health, especially if we are going through addictions such as smoking or have health concerns such as being overweight, suffering from diabetes or high
blood pressure to name a few. In such situations having a health coach who believes in us is essential and makes the process much easier.

I would like to share with you my health coaching experience with a dear client, Yousef who had a smoking addiction, was overweight, and was suffering from gout for the last 4 years.

We started off with a detox week, assigned hours for smoking, and lots of water per day, helping Yousef lose 7kgs in 7 days!

As we got into week 2, Yousef continued to lose weight, felt active and positive, but the gout was still hurting. He went to measure his uric acid levels, which were astoundingly high, even for a gout patient, 12mg/dL. The doctor prescribed medication to lower this abnormal level, but I suggested we could work on decreasing it naturally, if he were willing. He decided to put the medication on hold and continue the 6 week program.

With his determination and focus, his daily routine consisted of detox baths with apple cider vinegar, coconut oil pulling, celery juices, cherries as a snack, breathing exercises, meditation techniques and much more, Yousef’s condition improved drastically.

Six weeks into the program, his weight dropped to 99kg, but the gout pain continued to linger in the background.

I then got Yousef onto the vegan diet and shared my recipe book with him to help him through this transition. After 8 weeks, Yousef measured his uric acid and to everyone’s surprise the results were at 6.9mg/dL, which is the normal range and he was no longer considered a gout patient! With all the introduced changes in his routine, the gout had no place in his life anymore and was slowly leaving his body.

Food is medicine, breathing is essential, and meditation and yoga are the most powerful tools for a healthy mind and body. The combination of it all has helped Yousef to take charge of his health.

I continue to work with Yousef in order to drop his uric acid to 3.5-4mg/dL and his weight to around 84kg, but the major work has been done.

In time, Yousef can slowly begin to indulge in foods that he thought he will never be able to eat again. Today, Yousef is at 95kg with clear skin, no puffy circles, has quit smoking, loves to cook and is rather enthusiastic to continue exercising to shed off the extra weight.

Our bodies need our care and attention. A 1% change in our lifestyle could lead to a 99% change in our health. We are here to live life, don’t waste it by smoking, by eating abnormal things perceived as “food” and by taking unnecessary medication, all of which cut your lifespan by years. Be smart,
be kind and Eat The Sun with Miracles!

Understanding Hypnotherapy

Media and entertainment have always portrayed hypnosis as an intimidating idea, making the person believe they become slaves to the one performing hypnosis. It is shocking to see how many times we hear questions like – ‘So I will not remember anything after a session?’ ‘ Are we going to be made to do things the therapist wants?’ Even though we happy to see that our understanding of hypnosis has advanced a great deal over the past years, let’s gain a better perspective on how this technique works.

Hypnotherapy is used effectively to reprogram your mind in a positive way. The therapist takes you into a deep trance-like state through a relaxation technique. Once in this relaxed state, the therapist provides perspective to the individual’s situation that would change some of the belief systems in their mind through the power of suggestions.

During the session, the client feels very relaxed, just how you feel when you are watching a movie, or when you are in a dreamy state. The client is consciously aware of what is happening and is 100% in control of their own mind. Everyone has their own unique experience with hypnosis, but most people generally feel calm and relaxed.

It is our deep beliefs and patterns that shape our lives and decisions, so hypnotherapy helps change the beliefs and patterns that are negative or no longer serve us. Hypnotherapy can be effectively used to address fears, phobias, and addictions such as smoking, nail-biting, anxiety, stress, traumas.

It can also be used for treating chronic pains, physical ailments, or in weight management. Through hypnotherapy, we gain a better understanding of ourselves and of what is going on in the deep layers of our subconscious mind. We can then use this to our best advantage to change our lives for the better.

Busting 3 myths about hypnosis:

1. I don’t have control over myself, or my mind during hypnosis:
This is completely false. During hypnosis, you are completely aware of the suggestions being given to you and everything that is happening around you. Your mind will automatically reject a suggestion if you don’t agree with it. During a session, if you feel thirsty or feel that you don’t want to continue, you can easily drink water or stop the session in between.

2. I have never been hypnotized:
We all enter a mild state of hypnosis almost every day. For example, those moments you feel right before you are falling asleep, or when you are watching a movie, reading a book, or driving.

3. I can get stuck in hypnosis during a session:
Hypnosis is a natural state and no one can be stuck in trance. It is relaxing and you can snap out of a hypnotic state by simply opening your eyes or after making a few gentle prompts.

When should I get Tarot Card Readings done?

Tarot Card readings can be done anytime you are looking for guidance or answers to certain life situations. It is a safe and effective tool that will provide you will more clarity and a better understanding of the situation. It is also good to refer to when having to make important choices or decisions in life.