Finding Happiness

By Helen (هلا) Najar.

Life is an endless journey to find Happiness and everything we do is to ultimately be happy, but what is happiness and how do we achieve it? As humans, our tendency is to move away from pain and toward pleasure, and as individuals, our perceptions of pain and pleasure differ. What makes you happy may not be the same for someone else. Whatever you are doing is because you think it will make you happy e.g., the new house, car, clothes, relationships, etc. there is a constant struggle to achieve our happiness.

In our endeavor towards happiness, we come across times when we face challenges, worries, stress, anxiety, anger, sadness, and even fear. These obstacles, challenges or hardships can be very confronting and take their toll on us and we often feel overwhelmed and struggle to find any happiness. To free ourselves and find inner peace and happiness we need to understand how and why it’s all happening.

We need to become aware that everything is energy in motion and that includes our bodies, thoughts, feelings, words, and actions. The way we operate is based on the way we perceive life, ourselves, and others. This means what we experience in our external world is based on the beliefs we are projecting and manifesting as our reality. If we know this, it makes sense to change our beliefs to perceive a different world.

The way we do this is to go within and change what we think of ourselves and others and what we believe is happening to us. So, if we know our internal energy is creating our external experience it then makes sense to take control and change what we think and feel and stay in a state of inner peace and happiness to create a different external world. This seems easier said than done but it can be done by becoming mindful of the present moment and not looking at what is happening but rather staying in a space of inner peace and happiness throughout what’s happening. This requires us to be accepting and allowing of whatever situation arises and trusting it’s all happening for our highest good

We do this by checking if it’s something we can control and if so, we do what we can about it. If it is out of our control, it means it’s not ours to fix so we can acknowledge we don’t like it and it doesn’t feel good, but we allow it knowing it’s for our highest good and will work itself out if we allow it without interference but with trust and patience. We then need to really let it go and trust it will be taken care of, because we always have been.

From this point, we need to choose to stay in the present moment and in a state of inner peace, happiness, and gratitude for what we do have. Happiness is not about getting, it’s about giving, and random acts of kindness are a great way of helping others and feeling good, which will attract more of this feeling in ways you can’t imagine.

The Paradox of a Parent-Child Relationship – Who’s Responsibility is it to Change?

By Manya Monga.

As parents, we often expect our kids to be a certain way or behave in a certain way and no matter how hard we try, we often expect them to change into something we want them to become.

We forget that they are unique beings and special in their own way. Most of the time, parents’ expectations of their children are a reflection of their own fear and guilt.

Some examples of unrealistic expectations that parents have for their kids are:

1. To be perfect at school and at home
2. To never make mistakes
3. To take part in competitions even if they don’t want to
4. To do everything we ask them to do without asking questions
5. To achieve targets set by others
6. To do better than others

Why should we ask parents to focus on the above, when, instead we can teach them ways to be:

• Kind
• Grateful
• Cheerful
• Respectful

And value what we already have such as:

• Family
• Friends
• Relationships
• Truth
• Honesty

We can also teach them to find happiness and celebrate the little things in life and appreciate what we have rather than focusing on unreasonable expectations.

We may think we are doing this for our child’s higher good or a brighter future but what we fail to understand is that it’s not our job to push them into things we want for them. It is our sole responsibility as parents to show them various options and guide them through, in case they need our help. We need to encourage them to take decisions for themselves. They may fail or fall down but we must support them to get back up and learn and move ahead.

Tips to Raise a Resilient Child with Strong Coping Skills

1. Support your child
2. Educate them that change is normal
3. Model for them to observe and learn from you
4. Teach them to be optimistic and grateful
5. Encourage them to take ownership of their decisions

Putting pressure on kids may result in low self-esteem and low self-confidence as they will constantly feel they haven’t achieved enough. And in this process of trying to achieve more and more, kids lose their individuality, and personalities change due to our actions and behaviors.

Tips to Raise a Confident Child with High Self-Esteem

We can build confidence in our children by telling them:

1. You are unique
2. You are imperfectly perfect
3. Keep going and keep trying
4. Accept and celebrate the way you are

Hence, it can be rightly said that in the parent-child relationship, the major responsibility to change is with the parent.

Kids are like clay and can be molded in any way we want. Keeping in mind that they are unique individuals and showing them love, the more we appreciate how wonderful and unique they are in their own special way, and the more they will bloom and become the best versions of themselves.

And that is the best gift we can give to our children.