Finding Happiness

By Helen (هلا) Najar.

Life is an endless journey to find Happiness and everything we do is to ultimately be happy, but what is happiness and how do we achieve it? As humans, our tendency is to move away from pain and toward pleasure, and as individuals, our perceptions of pain and pleasure differ. What makes you happy may not be the same for someone else. Whatever you are doing is because you think it will make you happy e.g., the new house, car, clothes, relationships, etc. there is a constant struggle to achieve our happiness.

In our endeavor towards happiness, we come across times when we face challenges, worries, stress, anxiety, anger, sadness, and even fear. These obstacles, challenges or hardships can be very confronting and take their toll on us and we often feel overwhelmed and struggle to find any happiness. To free ourselves and find inner peace and happiness we need to understand how and why it’s all happening.

We need to become aware that everything is energy in motion and that includes our bodies, thoughts, feelings, words, and actions. The way we operate is based on the way we perceive life, ourselves, and others. This means what we experience in our external world is based on the beliefs we are projecting and manifesting as our reality. If we know this, it makes sense to change our beliefs to perceive a different world.

The way we do this is to go within and change what we think of ourselves and others and what we believe is happening to us. So, if we know our internal energy is creating our external experience it then makes sense to take control and change what we think and feel and stay in a state of inner peace and happiness to create a different external world. This seems easier said than done but it can be done by becoming mindful of the present moment and not looking at what is happening but rather staying in a space of inner peace and happiness throughout what’s happening. This requires us to be accepting and allowing of whatever situation arises and trusting it’s all happening for our highest good

We do this by checking if it’s something we can control and if so, we do what we can about it. If it is out of our control, it means it’s not ours to fix so we can acknowledge we don’t like it and it doesn’t feel good, but we allow it knowing it’s for our highest good and will work itself out if we allow it without interference but with trust and patience. We then need to really let it go and trust it will be taken care of, because we always have been.

From this point, we need to choose to stay in the present moment and in a state of inner peace, happiness, and gratitude for what we do have. Happiness is not about getting, it’s about giving, and random acts of kindness are a great way of helping others and feeling good, which will attract more of this feeling in ways you can’t imagine.

The Paradox of a Parent-Child Relationship – Who’s Responsibility is it to Change?

By Manya Monga.

As parents, we often expect our kids to be a certain way or behave in a certain way and no matter how hard we try, we often expect them to change into something we want them to become.

We forget that they are unique beings and special in their own way. Most of the time, parents’ expectations of their children are a reflection of their own fear and guilt.

Some examples of unrealistic expectations that parents have for their kids are:

1. To be perfect at school and at home
2. To never make mistakes
3. To take part in competitions even if they don’t want to
4. To do everything we ask them to do without asking questions
5. To achieve targets set by others
6. To do better than others

Why should we ask parents to focus on the above, when, instead we can teach them ways to be:

• Kind
• Grateful
• Cheerful
• Respectful

And value what we already have such as:

• Family
• Friends
• Relationships
• Truth
• Honesty

We can also teach them to find happiness and celebrate the little things in life and appreciate what we have rather than focusing on unreasonable expectations.

We may think we are doing this for our child’s higher good or a brighter future but what we fail to understand is that it’s not our job to push them into things we want for them. It is our sole responsibility as parents to show them various options and guide them through, in case they need our help. We need to encourage them to take decisions for themselves. They may fail or fall down but we must support them to get back up and learn and move ahead.

Tips to Raise a Resilient Child with Strong Coping Skills

1. Support your child
2. Educate them that change is normal
3. Model for them to observe and learn from you
4. Teach them to be optimistic and grateful
5. Encourage them to take ownership of their decisions

Putting pressure on kids may result in low self-esteem and low self-confidence as they will constantly feel they haven’t achieved enough. And in this process of trying to achieve more and more, kids lose their individuality, and personalities change due to our actions and behaviors.

Tips to Raise a Confident Child with High Self-Esteem

We can build confidence in our children by telling them:

1. You are unique
2. You are imperfectly perfect
3. Keep going and keep trying
4. Accept and celebrate the way you are

Hence, it can be rightly said that in the parent-child relationship, the major responsibility to change is with the parent.

Kids are like clay and can be molded in any way we want. Keeping in mind that they are unique individuals and showing them love, the more we appreciate how wonderful and unique they are in their own special way, and the more they will bloom and become the best versions of themselves.

And that is the best gift we can give to our children.

Are you in a parasocial relationship? Why we obsess over celebrities?

You scroll through their Instagram feed, reply to their tweets, watch their TikTok videos and defend them no matter what they do … Are you simply a fan or something a little more?

Parasocial relationships are one-sided bonds people develop with public and media figures such as actors, musicians, influencers or politicians, although the term can also be applied to peers. Unlike developing a crush, those indulging in parasocial relationships feel they are friends with the person – that they know them and know what they’re thinking and feeling.

For Mulaney, whose white, middle-class, male-skewing supporters see him as a comedy visionary and relatable everyman, the very fact their hero was being criticised for the speed of his new romance was tantamount to blasphemy. 

“People usually get into a parasocial relationship by falling in love with celebrities, famous people, influencers or even fictional characters,” says Helen Najar, hypnotherapist and well-being counsellor at Miracles wellness centre in Dubai. “They create unrealistic ideas about a person and feel as if they are part of their life. They can also be physically attracted to them and feel emotionally attached, so begin to give the other party much interest, time, and emotional energy.

 “This is commonly seen with fans of celebrities, as they truly believe they know the person rather than understanding that they only know the character being presented by the person.”

What is a parasocial relationship?

Parasocial relationships have been around for as long as humans but under different names and guises. Behaviours that previous generations would have termed as ardent admiration for someone, or even a long-distance crush, would almost certainly these days be deemed parasocial.

The term was first coined by sociologists Donald Horton and R Richard Wohl in their 1956 paper Mass Communication and Para-Social Interaction, in which they said: “The crucial difference in experience obviously lies in the effective lack of reciprocity … The interaction, characteristically, is one-sided, non-dialectical and controlled by the performer.”

In short: you can like a particular celebrity all you want, but they’re not going to like you back.

Najar says: “This form of ‘relationship’ can give the individual a sense of belonging and that they are part of a group who shares their emotional connection of love and admiration with the said celebrity [character], which in a way normalises the relationship.”

The tipping point into obsession

Despite living in times of peak oversharing online, most people understand the parameters of their parasocial relationships. They know that Justin Bieber isn’t going to leave Hailey for them because they slid into his DMs, nor will Sonam Kapoor Ahuja invite them round for coffee because they admired her living room decor on Instagram.

“As with all things, good and bad co-exist and this can be seen when parasocial relationships tip into obsession, and this obsession or idealization of a character can affect both adults and children,” says Najar. “In children, this can become dangerous if the child idolizes a character and aspires to be like them, for example a certain character or celebrity’s body type.

Enjoying a healthy parasocial relationship: ‘They help people feel more connected.’

Hypnotherapist Helen Najar and psychologist Mina Shafik say the unprecedented levels of access into celebrities’ lives that modern technology has given followers has blurred the lines between what fans know about a public person and what they think they know. Photos: Miracles Dubai; Thrive Wellbeing Centre

The spotlight being shone on parasocial relationships also coincides with the pandemic, which caused people to be confined to their homes, and media and content consumption go through the roof. Similarly stuck in their mansions, celebrities started offering even more insights into their lives, including their homes, pets, meals and daily schedules. All of which made a desire on the part of the fan to “know more” seem less intrusive.

“The expansion of social media means people have unlimited access to a variety of platforms, entertainment sites and celebrities,” says Najar, “making the ability to feel connected to these celebrities otherwise private lives more attainable and socially acceptable.”

The Ancient Practice of Grounding

I love to recommend this ancient tool to all my clients. It doesn’t take a healer or a yogi to know how good it feels to walk barefoot on grass or on the beach, feeling the warmth of the sun touching your skin. In these moments, you are ‘grounded’. Grounding is an ancient activity that spreads through various cultures, traditions and spiritual practices over hundreds of years. It is simply reconnecting our energies with the Earth. For the majority of history, we have had direct contact with the earth’s surface, but somewhere along the way, we have lost that sustained connection due to the modern world of technology, high rise buildings, and even shoes with insulated synthetic soles. And a constant influx of
electromagnetic radiation (EMF) from our devices takes us further away.

Grounding isn’t a new discovery, but a rediscovery of what our ancestors knew would help them to heal. And it is still accessible to us. When we allow our body to connect with the Earth, we enhance our mental, physical, and emotional wellbeing and create a more sound, clear way of thinking. Vitality, health, and wellness are benefits of allowing yourself to be grounded with the Earth. It’s a great exercise, and best of all it’s free!

Benefits:

• Calms nervous system
• Protects from electromagnetic fields (EMFs)
• Eases chronic pain and inflammation
• Balances emotions, reduces stress and anxiety, boosts energy
• Improves mental clarity and ability to make decisions

How to do Grounding:

• Take off your shoes and walk on grass
• Lie your entire body down in the grass—touching as much of your bare skin to the
  ground as possible
• Go to the beach and walk in the sand barefoot – Salt (water) is very grounding and the waves have a very strong cleansing and replenishing energy.
• The next time you’re trekking along a cobblestone street, remember that the uneven terrain is actually a boon to your fitness. The uneven surfaces of stone paths are commonly used for wellness as “reflexology paths,” although you can get the same beneficial effects from any uneven stone pathway.
• Put your feet in a freshwater stream and turn your face towards the sun.
• Enjoy gardening, feeling the soil on your hands.
• Breathe in deeply when you are in nature, and follow your breath as it travels into your nostrils and lungs and back out.
• Spend at least 15-minutes in direct physical contact with nature, sit with your back against a tree.
• Have a salt bath, a mixture of sea salts, Epsom salts and Himalayan salts are a great combo. Add essential oils such as patchouli (be sure to dilute them with a carrier oil first). You can also add grounding crystals to your bath and fresh herbs instead of essential oils such as sage.

Join Delna to learn the practice of grounding.

Patience, Tolerance & Understanding

We live in a world where we believe we need to be right, correct, and perfect. We have this idea of how we want to be perceived by people and this gives us a sense of security. When we face situations that don’t align with that idea in our head, we tend to become angry, triggered, upset, we feel like we are losing control of the situation and start behaving in ways that are quite the opposite (without even realizing).   

It’s like a switch flips within us and we start imposing our beliefs and thoughts to regain control. When this doesn’t work, things escalate, and we feel a sense of hurt and defeat as we get locked in that vicious cycle.  

Let’s take a step back. Take a deep breath and look at what is really going on here.  

The first question to ask is why do I need to be so perfect? What am I insecure about? What is this ‘trigger’?  Is it even possible to be perfect or is it something we are conditioned to believe so we are loved and accepted?  

Most of these triggers come from our childhood, where we were told to behave or excel and then we were loved and praised (i.e. false sense of security). Anything opposite that your mind reads as unloved and criticized (i.e. false sense of insecurity).  

The root cause is deep feelings of insecurity and then a loss of control. It’s time to heal that inner child in you. It’s time to love him/her and give that child in you the understanding, patience and tolerance he/she requires. It’s alright, you are always doing the best you can. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being human and being human means experiencing everything and not identifying it as who you are.  

Of Course, you are loved! Of Course, you matter! and of course, you are fully capable of having all that you desire, because that’s who you are. Anything else is not you. It’s just how you see yourself and maybe now is the time to change that.  

The Overview: 

• Taking a step back and looking at the whole picture brings back a sense of control, if I lack understanding I lose my patience and in turn have no tolerance. I end up getting upset and act at an impulse, the repercussion of which are clearly not healthy in the long run.  
• Why am I scared of being judged? 
• Why do I get so aggressive & provoked? – loss of control 
• Why am I trying to please people? 
• PUT (Patience, Understanding & Tolerance) perspectives for a happy life

By: Rashmi Seth

Meditation for Wellness

Overcome Fear & Anxiety

Womb Regression

Meditation: An Inward Journey

All that is acquired to break through a reality that we have come to be acquainted with is already within, and consciously willing to take that step is what meditation is all about.

 It’s not a matter of knowing or not knowing, we know and we confirm that “everything is within” Often when we encounter it in a conversation, or in an article; we nod our head as a sign of approval. But knowing without understanding and finally without consciously practicing is not any different than not knowing.

 The dilemma yet to surface, if all that is needed is within and often we affirm that and pass over it lightly in any given text, what is it that won’t allow us to pursuit or practice that paradigm?

 Within dwells all the open pages, all that we have buried so deep, and the projection for that has become our outmost present self, that lingers in the past and the future but rarely in the present, once it comes to experience present overwhelmed with all that is to surface it seeks refuge back to where it attains comfort and that is anywhere but present.

 To tap in within, is first to encounter Our so called present, defensive self, that we cling on too defensively and in a protective manner, ready to take defensive stand  at any given time. To see a self as to be just an outcome of causality, a learned process where at some point we have allowed others to contribute to its growth and determine our life long trajectory and predictable patterns.

 As we adhere deeper within, a threatened self that foresees the end of its service, tries to victimize us by taking us through a journey using guilt as its vehicle, the sum of all the voices, sometimes greater than the whole itself. Persuading us to acknowledge that same self that operates within us, has led us here where we are, we are pretty content, for it has brought us to where we are now, so why bother to question it. A self that has no concrete grounding, but a root of chords attached to situations and individuals that not only predict outcome, but also trigger a certain behavioural response, where a mind that has created a problem tries to solve the problem.

Hence a self to hold on to the intellect to come to break through the reasoning by reasoning itself, and here to finally encounter the illusion of fear disguised as fear itself. For the sole catalyst in the first place has been feared that has contributed in the conditioning of pattern that has constructed this untrue self.

As we let go of these conditioned patterns that no longer serve any purpose, we encounter not fear but an illusion of fear, for our mind had been conditioned to growth and evolve by fear instinct rather than love.

To discover love within is to overcome fear. There’s no journey through the self, but a journey towards the self, only to find a selfless self. For one holds so strong to whatever one is  afraid of losing, and thus when there is absence of fear, one never holds on to a self for the self is everywhere, as though projects, energy follows in an infinite abundance, those who evolve through love never limit a self to a situation or an outcome. 

 A self finally comes to no longer practice meditation, but is always in a meditative state, is always present.

 Our journey through the mind of the self is only to discover the heart of the self, our journey from seeing to believe only to realize that we need to believe to see.

Healing with Spiritual Response Therapy

Spiritual Response Therapy is a magnificent method used to heal a variety of issues ranging from anxiety, unhealthy relationship patterns, blocks to abundance and prosperity and disturbing health concerns. It works by researching and clearing programs in an individual at a core (beliefs from this lifetime), ancestral (beliefs passed down from generations), history (unhealthy beliefs from past lives), and soul level.

It is a method born from using a combination of hypnotherapy (dowsing method) and response therapy (identifying and clearing subconscious fears). It was created by a unity minister named Robert Detzler in the late 1980’s, who integrated his spiritual understanding with response therapy and discovered a powerful method that can clear challenges for individuals at a mental, emotional, physical level and spiritual level.  

In SRT, we use a series of charts and a pendulum to research and clear programs and negative energies held in the Akashic Records. We identify the root cause of the issues, research their origin and go ahead and clear the unresolved emotional energy, reprogramming the soul and the subconscious to experience life with greater ease and positivity. 

As an SRT Consultant, I have worked with SRT to help many clients in successfully clearing suppressed resentment, anxiety, depression, sexual abuse, narcissism, unhappy relationship patterns, low self-worth, confusion towards life purpose and self-limiting beliefs towards abundance, to name a few. The transformation in their behavior within a few sessions has been astonishing. Not only do the discordant thoughts forms they were holding on to no longer disturb them, but by sharing insights into how these behaviors came about in their lives, my clients have empowered themselves on many levels as well. They have become more mindful of their thoughts, enjoy the beats of life with a lot more ease and grace and move forward confidently towards their goals and aspirations. Hence, they attract more positive outcomes in their life as they come to understand that their subconscious and conscious mind need to work harmoniously together in order to attract the abundance they so desire!

Spiritual Response Therapy has transformed my life in many ways than one and aligned me to my life-purpose where I use my intuitive gifts and talents to serve humanity. And I now offer this gift to everyone by holding sessions at Miracles so that you all can enjoy abundance and most importantly come to reconnect with their Higher Self and become magnificent co-creators who bring forth divine blessings in this world.