All that is acquired to break through a reality that we have come to be acquainted with is already within, and consciously willing to take that step is what meditation is all about.
It’s not a matter of knowing or not knowing, we know and we confirm that “everything is within” Often when we encounter it in a conversation, or in an article; we nod our head as a sign of approval. But knowing without understanding and finally without consciously practicing is not any different than not knowing.
The dilemma yet to surface, if all that is needed is within and often we affirm that and pass over it lightly in any given text, what is it that won’t allow us to pursuit or practice that paradigm?
Within dwells all the open pages, all that we have buried so deep, and the projection for that has become our outmost present self, that lingers in the past and the future but rarely in the present, once it comes to experience present overwhelmed with all that is to surface it seeks refuge back to where it attains comfort and that is anywhere but present.
To tap in within, is first to encounter Our so called present, defensive self, that we cling on too defensively and in a protective manner, ready to take defensive stand at any given time. To see a self as to be just an outcome of causality, a learned process where at some point we have allowed others to contribute to its growth and determine our life long trajectory and predictable patterns.
As we adhere deeper within, a threatened self that foresees the end of its service, tries to victimize us by taking us through a journey using guilt as its vehicle, the sum of all the voices, sometimes greater than the whole itself. Persuading us to acknowledge that same self that operates within us, has led us here where we are, we are pretty content, for it has brought us to where we are now, so why bother to question it. A self that has no concrete grounding, but a root of chords attached to situations and individuals that not only predict outcome, but also trigger a certain behavioural response, where a mind that has created a problem tries to solve the problem.
Hence a self to hold on to the intellect to come to break through the reasoning by reasoning itself, and here to finally encounter the illusion of fear disguised as fear itself. For the sole catalyst in the first place has been feared that has contributed in the conditioning of pattern that has constructed this untrue self.
As we let go of these conditioned patterns that no longer serve any purpose, we encounter not fear but an illusion of fear, for our mind had been conditioned to growth and evolve by fear instinct rather than love.
To discover love within is to overcome fear. There’s no journey through the self, but a journey towards the self, only to find a selfless self. For one holds so strong to whatever one is afraid of losing, and thus when there is absence of fear, one never holds on to a self for the self is everywhere, as though projects, energy follows in an infinite abundance, those who evolve through love never limit a self to a situation or an outcome.
A self finally comes to no longer practice meditation, but is always in a meditative state, is always present.
Our journey through the mind of the self is only to discover the heart of the self, our journey from seeing to believe only to realize that we need to believe to see.