We often hear so many things that are constantly being said about relationships. We talk to our friends about it, there are only a million seminars conducted all over the world, from movies, to TV shows, to talk shows, relationships have pretty much taken over our world!
We have something to say about everyone we know. Whether it is a work relationship or a romantic relationship it seems like we are ALWAYS trying to “figure it out”.
Now isn’t that interesting? Because if you think about it, what exactly is it that we are trying to “figure out”?
It is this lingering thought that inspired me to write this article. What are we trying to “figure out” and why are we trying to “figure things out”?
So let’s keep it simple and start with the basics, relationships is the art of relating. Relating to one another. On all levels, on any level, it is all about how we relate to each other and how we relate depends completely on who we are and our ability to understand the person we are relating to. Most of the time this is not as easy as it sounds. Most of the time we are trying to “figure out” who we are through other people.
The biggest reason for this is because all of us, each and every one of us fails to be AUTHENTIC. It’s only fair, because how can we be authentic when the people around us aren’t? This has made us so disconnected from each other. Most of the time we find ourselves jumping from one emotion to another, from one desire to another and from one person to another. This is mainly because we are not clear, not in complete integrity with who we are. We put on these facades and faces in front of each other and we have been doing it all our life so it has now become second nature. We don’t want to hurt anyone, we want to be accepted, loved, understood and are constantly looking for validation, (and for those who don’t want validation and act like they don’t care what other people think, somehow you are trying to make a statement too), only to finally one day wake up one day and feel this intense desire of wanting to “find yourself”.
The day you will find yourself is the day you start becoming authentic in who you really are. Be true to how you feel, to how your body reacts and to your thoughts. Observe how things make you feel, how certain people, environments and situations make you feel. If deep inside you it doesn’t feel good, be honest with yourself, be authentic and do whatever it is that does make you feel good. When we can be honest with our selves, only then we can start being authentic with each other. If you are afraid, be honest about the fear, its ok, everyone feels afraid, but stop covering up with things that aren’t true. You are only hurting yourself and continuing to live an unhappy life.
In this pure authentic state, relating with each other will become such a rewarding and enriching experience, you may not even need to say a word and you will yet feel most connected – and relationships will then truly be redefined as people start becoming compassionate, happy and connected.