Understanding Your Relationship with Your Mother

How is your relationship with your mother? What is the first feeling you get asking yourself this question? As you go deeper into these feelings, you might start feeling joy and security, or discomfort and pain…

The truth is, your life started within your mother. This is one relationship which has no substitute. The health of your relationship with her is the blueprint that creates your belief system and the quality of your relations with the rest of the world, during your life time and beyond, influencing even your offspring.

This is why it is so important to look at the quality of this relationship, and see if you are dragging any baggage of hurts that are keeping you trapped in negative patterns.

You might say, well my childhood is over, I have left the hurts behind.. But look again, you might find that the hurts you experienced at age 5 or 12 are still within you, or you might find that, even though you have sworn never to be like your mother, you find yourself unconsciously displaying the same patterns, behavior, and attitudes as hers, and the more you are resisting becoming her, the more you are replaying her life situations. But if you just stop resisting, and accept that, after all, you are part of her physical, mental and emotional inheritances, you might start seeing why you are carrying the same patterns that are triggering the same recurring traumas.

To facilitate the healing, it is important to lovingly experience those events that were emotionally charged in your history, from when you were in the womb, as all the thoughts and actions the mother undergoes during pregnancy are felt by the fetus. It is also important to see the mother’s perspective, and how your own interpretation of her behaviour, in the womb or as a child is what creates the trauma. Gaining awareness of our interpretations is all what is required to dissolve all hurts and pains. This itself removes the blocks, paving the way for healing.

You will know the healing is complete when you experience an inner sense of gratitude towards your mother, as gratitude and forgiveness only happens when hurts are resolved. Healing this original relationship is key to resolving our issues with intimacy, mother earth and all motherly figures.

By Najoua